Ep #23: The Difference Between Success and Happiness

Episode 23, The Difference Between Success and Happiness.

Welcome to Clinicians Creating Impact, a show for physical therapists, occupational therapists, and speech-language pathologists looking to take the next step in their careers and make a real difference in the lives of their clients. If you’re looking to improve the lives of neurodiverse children and families with neurological-based challenges, grow your own business, or simply show up to help clients, this is the show for you. 

I’m Heather Branscombe, Therapist, Certified Coach, Clinical Director, and Owner of Abilities Neurological Rehabilitation. I have over 25 years of experience in both the public and private sectors, and I’m here to help you become the therapist you want to be, supporting people to work towards their dreams and live their best lives. You ready to dive in? Let’s go.

Hey there, friend. This week I’m coming off some events that I might have mentioned in last week’s podcast. But if you didn’t know or you didn’t hear it, last week I had the opportunity to connect with two different groups of clinicians in very different settings and talk a little bit about the mindset work that I’m talking about here on the podcast. 

First, I just want to share with you, it is definitely one of my favorite things to do. So, if you’re in a group that you think could benefit from a free talk like that, something like an in-service or some kind of other professional development type event, please feel free to DM me on Instagram or send me a direct email. 

I told them both one of the most fun things I get to do when I run my company, in terms of Abilities, is I get to decide as the owner what I’m passionate about. And then I get to go do it. And helping clinicians just like you is definitely one of my passion projects. Whatever success I’ve created in my career thus far, it really truly does feed my happiness, which funny enough, success and happiness is what I want to talk a little bit more about today. 

So that being said, I would love to grow the reach of this message just so that clinicians like you can know that this kind of tool is available for both them and their clinical toolbox. So there’s a couple of ways that you can help me. Number one, as I mentioned before, invite me to your group. I would be more than happy to talk to them and you in person or over Zoom. Secondly, I’d love it if you could rate and review this podcast on whatever platform you’re currently listening to it. 

I want to share a review of someone that I have on one of the podcasts that really just kind of illustrates how you can do that and how easy it is. Now, I’d love to shout this person out, but it’s actually in, I’m assuming either Chinese or Japanese characters. So if this is you, just know I’m so grateful. But all that they put is that it really hits home. And it said, “Thanks for creating this, Heather.” 

So ratings like that are really so helpful for me. You’ve probably heard it before on other podcasts, but it really is really simple reviews like this that really help feed those algorithm gods, which ultimately is going to help that clinician that may currently be completely overwhelmed find that glimmer of help. Now, I know that you love helping people because you’re a clinician, and that’s what we do as clinicians. So I’d really love it if you can help me help others. And with that, let’s start a conversation about success and happiness. 

This idea really came to me when I was listening to another podcast, and this podcast is from a beautiful fellow female entrepreneur, not a clinician but still has some amazing things to say if you’re a fellow entrepreneur. Her name is Leila Hormozi. She gave her perspective around success and happiness, and as I was listening to the podcast it really caused me to think about what those words, success and happiness, mean to me and why I think that way. 

So I wanted to share those thoughts with you today and through the eyes of a clinician and see if that helps you. But before I do, I want to ask you a question. What does the word success mean to you? What does the word happiness mean to you? And finally, how are they connected? Or how do you see them as disconnected? It’s a beautiful thing if you like journaling, to journal it down. 

I just want to share with you today what came up for me. When I think of success now, I think of creating results in my life that line up with what I truly value. And as I get older, I notice that my net of values has definitely gotten wider, especially as it is concerned with success. 

I noticed that because as a new grad, if I was to think about success as a new grad it really mostly was about my work. And that makes sense. At the time of being a new grad so much of my time, energy and resources had been wrapped up in getting me to even become the goal of being a clinician. Do you remember that? Wasn’t that so amazing? 

Now, with time, just being a good clinician wasn’t enough. Success now includes my spouse, my children, my community, and even my clinical community. So notice, for me, that net has gotten bigger. Success has become and. Success hasn’t become or. It became the and because I value all of these things, my clinical career, my spouse, the rest of my family, my community, my health. And I value all of those things in relation to myself. 

Now, some might have more time devoted to them than others, especially in different seasons of my life or even in different seasons of the year. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I value them less. So one of the things that you can ask for yourself when it comes to success is, what do you actually value? What is important to you? And then notice how much time you are or aren’t spending in that area. 

Now, by saying that, I’m not saying that things should be even to your values. You just want to notice where you’re spending your time and if you like the reasons why you’re spending the time you do in the areas that you’re spending your time in your life. 

So, for example, I love my children, and I have spent a lot of time, energy and resources with them and for them because I value them. They are so important to me. And spending that time and energy was in line with that value for me. 

Now, as a parent who has both neurotypical and neurodivergent children, and whatever that means to you, I didn’t spend equal time every day with each child. But of course, that didn’t mean that I valued the children that got a little less of my time and resources less than the ones who didn’t. 

So, to me, success is about family, work, community, health, money, and contribution. Now, I’m not saying that in a value order. But again, those are some of the things in my net of values that I’m aligning my success to. 

It means that I more consciously think about those things and I set goals around them. And it means that I want more of all of it in a way that works for me. So success means, to me, thinking and creating the kind of future I want. And I am truly happy right here, right now. I really, really am. 

When I think of happiness, I think of gratitude. It’s the present. It’s the accepting of what is. It feels more like that present idea than success does. Success, to me, seems more like, again, I’m aligning it to my present self and what I value, but I’m using that to plan my future. Happiness, to me, feels like a present idea. 

Now first, success and happiness, they’re both really a thought. They aren’t a fact. And remember the difference between thoughts and facts? If you don’t, you want to refer back to episode two of the podcast, which is The Model And Why It Matters as a Therapist, to dive a little bit deeper. But assuming that you do understand the difference between thought and fact, I’ve decided that success is a future facing word from me because I like the idea of what that does for me. 

For me, it makes sure that the goals that I’m creating are in line with what I actually want. We talk about climbing the ladder of success, right? But I want to make sure that I’m climbing the ladder of success and that that ladder is set against the right wall. And that is the wall of my values. And the values are just thoughts that I choose to believe, and that I choose to believe that work for me.

If I choose goals because I think that it’s better there when I achieve those goals than where I am right now or that I’ll be more happy just in general, your mileage may vary, I want to offer you it’s not better when you achieve those goals than where you are right now. It’s because you accept what you have as the new norm. And so that’s not going to create those long term feelings of happiness. 

If you want to dive a little bit more about how you can set goals in a more sustainable way, episode three, Why Create A Bigger Impact, is a beautiful deeper dive, if you want, on that topic. 

So what I notice is, as I work on being truly happy right now with everything I have, which is available to me right now and it’s available to you, no matter what you have achieved or haven’t achieved because, again, our thoughts create our feelings. I feel a lot less graspy to get to my goals. It feels a lot less urgent to get there. 

I’m in much less of a hurry to get my goals. And when I’m in less of a hurry to get those goals, it’s a lot easier to tap into that higher part of my brain, which is much more wise and useful in how I actually could get to those goals in an easier way. Isn’t that interesting? 

Plus, I just want to say, cultivating gratitude feels amazing. It really does. And it really has nothing to do with the actual circumstances of my life. And it has nothing to do with the circumstances of your life. Now, of course, I don’t feel happy all the time, I’m not insane. And that’s not even something that I’m looking to create. 

But lately, I’ve really been working on feeling grateful, even for the negative thoughts my brain likes to offer. Not because I want them per se, but because those negative thoughts and feelings that my brain is offering me, teach me so much about myself and really ultimately what is important to me. 

So that means that happiness, for me, is that present type of feeling. And it’s something that I want to cultivate through gratitude in full acceptance of what is. While success for me is like this net of my values that I’m continually choosing and that guides me for the goals that I set for myself. 

Now, this really, truly is a work in progress. So I’m interested in what landed for you. What do you agree with? Or even more interesting, what don’t you agree with that I had to say? And why? How could this help you create a bigger impact on your clinical career, and for the clients or the patients that you serve? Try it out. And please let me know how it goes. I would love to hear the impact that this makes for you. Talk to you soon. 

If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, you can follow the show wherever you listen to your podcasts. And if you haven’t already, I would really appreciate it if you could leave a rating and review to let me know what you think and to help others find Clinicians Creating Impact. 

It doesn’t have to be a five star rating, although I sure hope you love the show. I’d really want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome podcast that provides tons of value. To learn more about me and the work that I do, visit my website at www.abilitiesrehabilitation.com/clinicianscorner to download your free getting it all done at work process and to see what I’m up to. Thanks so much.

Thanks for joining me this week on the Clinicians Creating Impact podcast. Want to learn more about the work I’m doing with Abilities Rehabilitation? Head on over to abilitiesrehabilitation.com. See you next week.